(written by funinthesun in this thread Asian Guys White Girls )

I don't have any trenchant commentary to offer on AM/WF relationships, at least nothing that hasn't already been said.  So instead, I'll just tell my AM/WF stories.

I have a running gag with a good friend of mine, a who's a white guy with an Asian girlfriend.  Every time we see or hear about a AM/XF couple, we let each other know and add a point to the imaginary scoreboard in the sky.  We always have a good laugh about it.  I don't begrudge him his Asian girlfriend, and they're both awesome people, but we openly discuss all the issues surrounding this sometimes uncomfortable, and sometimes hilarious subject, including the absurdly one-sided phenomenon that is the white man in Asia hooking up with Asian girls, of which he is a beneficiary.

I have had a few flings with white girls, and one really serious girlfriend.  I've also dated Asian girls, including from Asia and Asian-Americans.  It pains me to say that I prefer white girls, if only slightly.  It pains me because at some level, I think it's a culturally-imposed preference, created by virtue of western Europeans being the dominant ethnic group for such a long time, and it's a preference based just as much on stereotypes and generalizations as any other preference, or indeed, any other prejudice.  As a result, I've dismissed many Asian girls as undateable, consciously or unconsciously, and that is a shame for obvious reasons.

On the other hand, perhaps my preference is just for a certain set of values and characteristics more commonly found in white girls than in Asian girls.  Lending support to this theory is the fact that I've had a huge crush on an Asian-American girl lately, (who is, of course, dating a white guy).  In any case, if this is what's going on, then perhaps the small tragedy is that my value system is so far removed from that of my ancestors and that of the vast majority of my ethnic group.  But that is a topic for the anthropologists to debate.

I guess my point is that it's tempting to regard multiculturalism or interracial relationships as obviously desirable, without thinking about the underlying dynamics, which can be fraught with difficult questions.  Or maybe my point is that preferring white women (or white men for that matter) seems inescapably to be an imperialistic phenomenon, and that it is worth thinking about as such.

Well that turned out to be more commentary than story.  I guess these are pretty common thoughts, and I just rehashed them a little bit, but there it is.  Here's to adding more points to that scoreboard in the sky.