After the "Happily Ever After"
(dedicated to my future gf: whoever she is)
its much more than being asian, white, black, latino, whatever. its more than being fuck buddies with mutual understanding, this blog post deals with my opinion about a romantic relationship between two people. after going past the racial stereotypes, after going past the distance and the pain of not knowing what lies ahead of us, this is about finding THE ONE. love has so many different meanings attached to it by different people, and yet it seems to have one universal meaning. but before we even get to that point, there's the matter of getting to know each other.
getting to know someone is one of the best things that can happen in life. especially if there's mutual attraction between two people. eventually, thoughts of "maybe he/she can be my future bf/gf" cross people's minds. that's all good, but on the other hand, some people look for faults in the other person to prove to themselves that staying single rather than letting anyone else in their heart is the best way to not get hurt.
two things can possibly happen.
1. when sparks fly and chemistry grows, people tend to rush things, just because they wanna run with the emotions they're feeling at the moment. as the good feelings get stronger, it tends to make them want to spend more time with the person who makes them feel good. more and more time with that person takes away so much time from the normal life they're still supposed to be living, and then, in a blink of an eye, the rush of emotions that came so suddenly in the beginning comes crashing down, and love fades away...
2. when the attraction grows between two people, one person tends to build a wall around their heart in preparation of getting hurt. they walk away from all the good feelings, thinking the bad things that happened in their past relationships will repeat themselves. its almost as if they're feeling guilty for feeling good. they walk away from something special just when it's about to get even better.. the other person is confused and feels like they've been led on. and what could've been a great relationship is over before it's even really started...
its a lose-lose situation. in any case, it makes me lose you forever.
its so hard to find something special in people these days. meeting people isn't the problem, its keeping what you have through the years thats the hardest thing. its hard enough for some people to deal with dating someone else with a different race, but what supercedes everything is that at the root of every AM/XF couples, is still the same thing that other same race couples share, A RELATIONSHIP.
the best things are the hardest things to do, and the worse things the easiest things to do.
its so easy to think so far in advance and plan this so far ahead even when the relationship has only just begun, when in truth you just have to take things slow, ONE STEP AT A TIME. people tend to plan things with their bf/gf like... this is where we'll get married, or this is how many kids we'll have, or this is what we'll be doing in the future. only for those dreams to be crushed in the end when it doesn't work out. all that's left is a bitter feeling of loss.
its so easy to fall for someone so hard so fast, and then a couple of months later wonder where all the love has gone to, EITHER THAT OR: just walk away from someone who makes you feel appreciated because you feel like history will just repeat itself and everything will end up just as bad as before.
there will be some days when i feel like calling you and spending time with you just to be in your presence because it gets me feeling good. but then there will be some days when i cant help but feel like walking away because "yeah, thats how me and my last ex drifted apart and eventually broke up because we were so busy with doing our own thing that we never took the time to spend time with each other enough,"
i've realized in my past relationships that the more you struggle to hold on to something, the more likely you'll lose it. which is why i'm doing what i'm doing now. i might wanna leave a voicemail when you don't pick up your phone, but i hold myself back and tell you what's on my mind another time. i might miss you some days, but i wont tell you. i might wanna hear your voice some days, but i wont call. ITS A MATTER OF NOT LOSING SIGHT OF THE BIGGER PICTURE.
years from now, will we be together looking back at ourselves in the past as we started this journey as friends or will we be going through memory lane alone?
in such a busy busy world, all we need is time. time for each other, but at the same time, we still need time for ourselves. i'm still gonna keep doing my thing but at the same time, i'll make time for YOU. i'm still gonna explore my options but at the same time, i'll remember this thing we already have between us. i'm gonna hope for something special to grow out of our friendship, but at the same time, i'll accept that whatever happens in the future isnt something i can control.
i havent had the pleasure of meeting you yet, but i already know you'll be worthy gf. more than looks, you've got substance in your character that stands out from among the rest. you're a wonderful person, and i can't find the right words to say sometimes. all i can ever do is smile...and smile some more. people have said that "happily ever after" doesnt exist, BUT I STILL BELIEVE IN IT!!! fuck the bullshit, my friends would say, but i say: "one day at a time". when i open my eyes in the morning, the story repeats itself and by the time i close my eyes, its still a happily ever after. for some people, they get bitter hearing those words, i'm not delusional, i just refuse to be brought down by bigots who tag me as a hopeless romantic. i dont want to settle into the mundane standards set by society. after all, i'd rather be called a hopeful romantic, because its the HOPE that you'll come along in my life that pushes me to move on in this lifetime. i want us to have a strong relationship based on understanding, patience, and loyalty, that's something that simply can't be built in a couple of weeks, i want something worthwhile in life, not just a passing dream...
passion is good, but it needs to be balanced with understanding and patience, without those things, WE'LL HAVE NO CHANCE TO LAST. we've already spent a part of our lives getting our hearts broken, now we have to take a chance and see where this road will take us.
someone told me once, "you measure how much you like someone not by the things you do when you spend time together, but by the times you think about each other and the things you do when you're apart." maybe you're reading this and thinking, this guy's just full of himself and full of shit, if you do, then at least i thank you for your time to read this. i didnt write this to impress you or anyone. save your sarcasm for your mother. but if reading this touched your heart as much as it did mine when i was writing it, then just maybe one day, our paths will cross one day. you just never know how surprisingly good life can be.
